Trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on a beach and picked it up.Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
"You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden. The shocked genie said "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."
Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you!"
The annoyed genie said, "So be it !" and disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with: Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His p*nis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
God is good.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Weather Report
ARgghhh! I am planning an event this September based on something begun in England, called National "Talk Like A Pirate" Day. My friend Fritz Henry (he's in my list of favorite solo performers - if you scroll down this blog)...
is going to perform at this (he is great at talking like a pirate). Well, I could give him a run for his money this morning. It's early. My old (only 4 months old) computer is now resting in Davey Jone's locker, and I just ordered a notebook from Dell. The good news? My new business has a better credit rating than I do. The bad news? I had to choose between purchasing a computer and paying my hospital bills from surgery last month. Hillary, you better straighten out the health care system if and when you make it to the top.
Because I make a living here thanks to the computer, you can see why this was a no-brainer decision. However... "ARGHHHH!" and "Shiver me TIMBERS?" ... makes you wanna walk the plank.
Anyway, speaking of "the top" - this morning, I am going to don my rain gear and climb. No, not a 46er. But up Bald Mountain. Super Bowl weekend was a caloric orgy. . . but man, wasn't that final catch wonderful? I have a new respect for these guys. Not only are they in top shape, but they know how to stay focused.
Not a bad thing. . . (ARGHHH!)
is going to perform at this (he is great at talking like a pirate). Well, I could give him a run for his money this morning. It's early. My old (only 4 months old) computer is now resting in Davey Jone's locker, and I just ordered a notebook from Dell. The good news? My new business has a better credit rating than I do. The bad news? I had to choose between purchasing a computer and paying my hospital bills from surgery last month. Hillary, you better straighten out the health care system if and when you make it to the top.
Because I make a living here thanks to the computer, you can see why this was a no-brainer decision. However... "ARGHHHH!" and "Shiver me TIMBERS?" ... makes you wanna walk the plank.
Anyway, speaking of "the top" - this morning, I am going to don my rain gear and climb. No, not a 46er. But up Bald Mountain. Super Bowl weekend was a caloric orgy. . . but man, wasn't that final catch wonderful? I have a new respect for these guys. Not only are they in top shape, but they know how to stay focused.
Not a bad thing. . . (ARGHHH!)
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